No Honor Among Maniacs
by Red Witch
Summary: Everyone knows that villians are notorious gossips and backstabbers. Too bad for the Crown Empire...


**Someone has stolen the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Just a mad idea that came out of my head that proves villains are notorious back stabbers and gossips. Takes place shortly after 'First Steps on the Long Road Back'. **

**No Honor Among Maniacs**

"I can't believe such a glorious opportunity has finally fallen into my lap!" Mogul the Space Sorcerer cackled. "The Queen of the Crown is gravely injured! Practically on death's door and her empire is ripe for the taking! Whoopee!"

"It's a glorious opportunity Master!" Larry, his bumbling apprentice nodded.

"Yeah Boss," One of four green demons agreed. "This is gonna be great!"

"Indeed it shall be! Now is the time to prepare for my glorious ascension!" Mogul laughed.

"Yes!" Larry danced around.

"Now is the time for me to take my rightful place among the chronicles of history!" Mogul crowed.

"Yes!" Larry smiled and danced.

"Now is the time to cut some of the **dead wood** around here!" Mogul snarled. "Larry! You're fired!"

"Ye-**What?**" Larry stopped dancing. "What did you say?"

"You're fired," Mogul folded all four of his arms. "As in, your services are no longer needed. You've been let go to pursue other options. To take some 'me' time and explore personal growth. It's not you, it's me…Oh who are we kidding? It's **you**."

"But Master why?" Larry pleaded. "I've been your loyal apprentice for over seven thousand years!"

"And by now I'm utterly sick of you," Mogul snapped. "Besides if I'm going to take over the Crown Empire, I need a bigger quality of help around here. And let's face it Larry, what you **don't have** is quality."

"Yeah Larry! You're a loser!" A green demon laughed.

"You're about as useful as a pimple," Another demon snorted.

"Hit the road freak!" A third demon laughed.

"Yeah beat it you little twerp!" The fourth demon snorted.

"Oh yeah, you demons are out too," Mogul said.

"WHAT?" The demons yelled.

Mogul snapped his fingers. Five taller, more muscular red demons in grey armor and long white hair appeared. "Old demon horde, meet my **new** demon horde!"

"The Red Demons!" A green demon gasped. "You called in the **Red Demons?" **

"That's right!" One red demon laughed. "Mogul has finally decided to call in his A squad!"

"Losers!" Another red demon made the sign of an L using his finger and thumb.

"But…but we have an binding contract!" One demon stammered. "You know, written blood and all that junk."

"Consider it unbound!" Mogul snorted. "Now pack up and hit the road! Larry I'm putting a hot tub in your room and the contractor will be here by one o clock!"

"But, but Master! You need us! What about Slade? I know he's your partner but he can't be trusted!" Larry grasped at straws. "What if he tries to double cross you?"

"Please! Slade is an even bigger idiot than you are!" Mogul snorted. "He doesn't even have the brains to tie his own shoelaces much less think up a plot to double cross me!"

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"So can I have your cooperation on this endeavor MaCross?" Slade asked MaCross the leader of the Black Hole Gang at his hidden base. "I mean I did help you break out of the Deltoid Rock after all."

"Yeah but why do you need us to get star stones and weapons for you?" MaCross asked. "That's what I wanna know."

"Well to tell the truth I need you to help me take over the Crown Empire," Slade said.

"Take over the Crown Empire?" Patch, one of the Black Hole Gang yelled. "Are you crazy?"

"You trying to get us all killed Slade?" Dawdle, another member yelled. "The Queen will turn us all into slaver lords before you can whistle 'Trixie'."

"There are no more slaver lords," Slade said triumphantly. "Because there is no Queen of the Crown to control them anymore."

"What?" MaCross was stunned. "She's dead?"

"As good as," Slade said. "Seems she got in a tussle with the Galaxy Rangers and they put her in a coma. Last I saw she was in a stasis pod and she's not going to come out of it any time soon. Mogul the Space Sorcerer found out all about it in his crystal ball and he and I are teaming up to take over the empire for ourselves."

"Why are you telling us this?" MaCross asked.

"So later on I can double cross Mogul and get more than my share of the empire," Slade grinned.

"Really?" MaCross raised an eyebrow. "So the Queen of the Crown is in a coma eh? Interesting. All right Slade, I think I will help you."

"Excellent! And now I Lazarus Slade will go off and work on more of my master plan to take over the universe! Mu ha ha ha ha!" He laughed as he walked out of the bar. "Dang. My shoelaces are untied."

"Just so we're all on the same page," Dawdle said when Slade was out of hearing range. "We're gonna keep all the star stones we find for ourselves and use 'em to take our own chunk of the Crown Empire, right?"

"Bingo," MaCross smirked.

"That's what I thought," Dawdle grinned.

"Come on boys!" MaCross grinned. "We got some star stones and an empire to rustle!"

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It was a common fact that Crown Agents despised Zanquil slavers even though they were more than willing to take bribes off of them, What wasn't well known was **why **they hated them so much.

Centuries ago the Zanquils were divided into two tribes with two different religions. They were the Zanqumara and the Zanguilla. The former was an agrarian society while the latter was more technologically advanced.

When the Queen first came looking for foot soldiers for her empire, the Zanguilla decided to offer up their neighbors, the Zanqumara so that they would be spared. The Zanguilla believed themselves to be more righteous and advanced civilization and often blamed the Zaqumara for any ills of their society.

It was the Zanqumara that were enslaved and eradicated, their 'descendents' were grown in test tubes and outfitted with cybernetic parts. They became what would be known as Crown Agents, cybernetic slaves and foot soldiers of the Queen. While the Zanguilla survived, even if only as bounty hunters.

That history and knowledge was forgotten by all except the Crown Agents. Although it was never fully spoken or taught, the memory of that betrayal and the hatred it spawned was ingrained in every single part of a Crown Agent's body. Somehow they knew what had happened to their ancestors. They knew it was the Zanquils that had condemned their people to this fate.

And when the Queen fell into a coma it was not long for them to realize the opportunity to destroy their most hated enemies had fallen into their hands. And they were not about to waste it.

Thus it was a strange twist of fate that day when a few Zanquils came to the palace to turn in three Gurkins they had captured in a remote outpost only to find themselves in chains instead.

"You Zanquil slime are finally going to get what you deserve," Crown Officer Alpha Zed snarled as he kicked one viciously before he pulled out a blaster and shot him. "One less of you to pollute our dungeons!"

"At the very least when we get rid of all of this filth those Galaxy Rangers can't use those stupid Zanquil costumes anymore," A Crown Agent laughed.

"What about the Gurkins?" Another Crown Agent asked.

"Forget them," Crown Officer Alpha Zed snorted. "They're worthless to us now." He glared at the trembling captives. "You heard me! Go!"

The frightened aliens wasted no time and dashed for their lives into the streets of Tortuna to disappear. Alpha Zed felt pleased. Why waste time with a species that was proven to be worthless and practically extinct anyway? The only thing Gurkins were good for was to be used as a slaver lord.

And since slaver lords could no longer be used, there was no point to waste ammunition on the Gurkins. Not when there were so many more Zanquils to destroy.

"Officer," Another Crown Officer walked up to him. "Report."

"Officer Alpha B Twelve," Alpha Zed addressed his equal. "We have captured more Zanquils. That one tried to escape," He pointed at the dead Zanquil before him.

"Idiots tried to turn in some Gurkins to save their skins," A Crown Agent snorted.

"Typical," Alpha B Twelve nodded. "I came to inform you that you and your squad have been reassigned to Decontamination of the Outer Rims of the Empire."

Alpha Zed knew that Decontamination was code for the destruction and elimination of planets that were no longer useful to the Empire. Although destroying alien civilizations was appealing to all Crown Agents, Alpha Zed sensed something else. "By whose authority?"

"Alpha Prime Beta," Alpha B Twelve said the designation of the Crown Officer currently in charge.

"Trying to get me out of the way to consolidate his power?" Alpha Zed spoke cautiously.

"Believe it or not, he wants you on his side," Alpha B Twelve told him. "He knows you have more tactical experience than he does. And since Alpha Nine Seven was decommissioned an hour ago…"

"Decommissioned?" Alpha Zed asked, knowing the word meant 'blown up to kingdom come'.

"The fool was caught being bribed by a local mob boss in order to consolidate power for himself and take over the council," Alpha B Twelve snorted. "Fortunately that mob boss has decided to wisely work for us."

"Because the pay is better," Alpha Zed knew that there was fierce competition among the ranks of the Crown Officers to gain power and control of the dwindling empire for themselves.

"It's been decided that those planets on the outer rims that are no longer useful to the empire shall be destroyed," Alpha B Twelve told him.

"In other words some of the dead weight is finally going to be cut off," Alpha Zed nodded. "What is my first assignment?"

"First you are to decommission the Denares Three Outpost and then organize a strike force," Alpha B Twelve said. "Further orders will follow."

"It shall be done," Alpha Zed nodded. His equal left. Alpha Zed was no fool. He knew he was being shoved out of the way for now so that others, less talented Crown Officers would try to grab all the power for themselves.

He also knew that the more planets and aliens he destroyed and conquered, the stronger his own position would be.

How fortunate then the Council had decided to place the Queen in stasis. For her own safety of course.

As long as the Queen was in a coma it would be every Crown Agent for himself.

And he intended to make sure if she ever woke up he would be the one in charge.

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"I can't believe he dumped us," Larry sniffed as he sat at another bar on Tortuna.

"Neither can I," One of the four Green Demons muttered as he sat on the bar next to Larry. "I mean, I can see him dumping **you**, but **us?**"

"Thanks a lot George," Larry glared at the demon.

"We don't have nothing no more," Another demon sighed. "We got no master. Hey! Now that we got no master, no one can boss us around to tell us what to do!"

"Well technically that's not true," Larry scratched his head. "My name's on the contract too. You know the part where it says that you guys can be summoned at any time by Mogul and his apprentice? So since Mogul no longer wants you…You guys answer to me now! **I'm** your boss!"

"No way!" George snapped. "There is no way in the Underworld that I am taking orders from a crummy little twerp like you!"

"Only one way to find out," Larry realized. "George! DANCE!"

"Oh yeah like I'm gonna…" George snarled. Then he got up from his stool and started to dance around. "OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"

"Oh no…" Another green demon moaned. "Larry's right! He can give us orders now! And we **have** to obey him! I hate that stupid contract!"

"I **hate** my life…" Green Demon Number 3 moaned. "Just when I thought this day couldn't get any **worse!**"

"That's right! And you'd better not **forget it!"** Larry said smugly. "Okay George you can stop now!"

"Finally! Stupid little…" George muttered under his breath.

"That's showing them! Good for you!"

"Huh?" Larry looked and saw Brainchild sitting next to him at the bar.

"Nobody respects us short guys," Brainchild grumbled. "You can have the best ideas of taking over the galaxy in the world but do people listen to you? No! All because of a stupid height thing!"

"Hey I know you," Larry blinked. "You're one of those renegade Supertroopers aren't you?"

"Yeah, Brainchild's the name," He nodded. "So what's a bunch of guys like you doing in a place like this?"

"We got canned from Mogul," Larry sighed. "I'm Larry. I used to be Mogul's apprentice until now when he decided to be a big shot and get some new guys so he could muscle in on the Crown Empire while the Queen of the Crown is in a coma."

"Hold on, say that again," Brainchild did a double take.

"The Queen is gravely injured. Could even be dying. She got into some kind of fight with the Galaxy Rangers and she's out cold. Mogul and Slade are teaming up to take over the Crown Empire from under her nose," Larry grumbled.

"Yeah and that jerk Mogul dumped us because he didn't think we were good enough to take over an empire," George grumbled. "Like **he's** a brain surgeon or something!"

"Really? You know…?" Brainchild smirked. "It seems to me that we have a lot in common. And it might be in both of our best interests to pool our talents together."

"You mean, you'd team up with me and the demons in order to get revenge on Mogul and take over the Crown Empire for ourselves?" Larry blinked.

"Why not?" Brainchild said. "With your magic and muscle and my brainpower we can't lose! Besides you num nuts can't be any dumber than the Supertroopers!"

"He's got a point there," George said to the other demons.

"Yeah and it would really tick Mogul off too!" Another demon said. "I say we do it!"

"Brainchild, you got yourself a deal!" Larry shook his hand. "Now all we need are a bunch of star stones and some weapons!"

"Oh and some more powerful magic Larry," George told him.

"Yeah that too," Larry said. "I can get some by visiting some old magic nooks and crannies Mogul's forgotten about. Star stones, weapons, more magic!"

"We might need a new base of operations too," Brainchild thought. "Oh and a better starship. Mine is in the shop."

"Okay," Larry took out a piece of paper and began to write on it. "Star stones, more magic, weapons, a spaceship or two, a new base of operations…Uh how about some more henchmen while we're at it?"

"Yeah put that on the list," Brainchild said. "And tobacco."

"Tobacco?" Larry asked.

"I'm running low," Brainchild indicated his cigar.

"Why don't we just get a quart of milk while we're at it?" George asked.

"Good idea! Food supplies!" Larry said.

"You're right!" Brainchild said. "No telling how long we're gonna be at this. Might as well stock up."

"Oh boy…" George winced. "This is not going to end well."

"Come on! Let's go plan someplace more private," Brainchild said. The two short villains left arm in arm. "Together we will plot our path to glory!"

"And the best part is that no one will ever know!" Larry laughed loudly.

"Yeah right…" George moaned as the demons realized that that there were quite a few dozen **other** people in the bar that had heard every word of their conversation. "Worst day ever."

"So the Crown Empire is finally about to fall eh?" Captain Kidd stroked his chin. "Squeegee, methinks it's time that we finally got our share of major booty!"

"Booty!" Squeegee his furry companion chirped.

"Who would have thought those Galaxy Rangers would have done something **good** for us for a change?" Captain Kidd laughed.

"The Queen of the Crown is in a coma!" A thug spoke to another thug. "That means her empire is up for grabs!"

"Wait until our boss, Jackie Subtract hears about this!" The other thug nodded. They both ran out the door to report to their boss.

"Hey Brappo! I got some major scoop for ya!" Another thug spoke into a sub space communicator in the corner. "You'll never believe it!"

"That's right boss!" Another alien thug said into his communicator. "Mogul and Lazarus Slade have just teamed up to take over the empire and now one of the Supertroopers just joined forces with some other guy. I dunno. But he had a bunch of demons with him that looked pretty tough!"

All over the room several other thugs and gang members went to inform their respective bosses of the situation. "Look at this lot," Daisy O'Mega snorted. "They're acting like they've just heard a major star stone vein has been opened up."

"This is better than star stones," Nimrod who was also sitting at the same table nodded.

"I agree," His lover Reggit the Tiger grinned. "Perhaps the three of us should pool our talents together as well in order to get the **lion's share** of the prize. Excuse me, I mean the **lioness's share**."

"And enough for a **tiger's share** as well," Daisy smiled. "All right boys, we're in!"

They was one more individual who happened to overhear the conversations and she was surprisingly pleased.

"I think I am going to let all these fools try to get what they want," Jezzel smirked. "Yes, let them do my work for me. By fighting with each other not only will my mother's power weaken and collapse…I will have my enemies take each other out. And then…Then when my mother is humiliated and disarmed and shown to the galaxy what an incompetent fool she is…I will appear and take **everything** away from her."

"After a period of madness and lawlessness, the galaxy will gladly welcome my rule," She smiled. "Those fools will fall into my lap and become my most obedient servants. And no one will oppose me!"

And that was how one of the largest power struggles in the history of the galaxies began.


End file.
